Naked
by half-goddess-Katia
Summary: Akira's thoughts on Hikaru first thing in the morning. Oneshot with implied AkiraHikaru.


Naked

Disclaimer: I don't own Hikaru No Go, nor do I own the song "Naked". I never have, and I never will.

AN: Yes, another one of my specialties, a one-shot story fiction. The pairing is an implied Akira/Hikaru from Akira's point of view.

Please read and enjoy!

_I wake up in the morning_

_Put on my face_

_The one that's gonna get me_

_Through another day_

_Doesn't really matter_

_How I feel inside_

_This life is like a game sometimes_

I've just woken up again from another one of my dreams of you. What would you say if you could see me now? Would you be shocked that I actually think of you, or would you be overjoyed? Would you believe me if I told you what you've done to me, for me?

When I think back to before I met you, my life was so dull. I put on my polite face day after day, hiding my conflicting feelings. I was uneasy, but I didn't understand why. I didn't understand, as I do now, that I was missing my true motivation. My life and my Go at that time reflected each other, technically perfect yet still missing something essential.

_Then you came around me_

_The walls just disappeared_

_Nothing to surround me_

_Keep me from my fears_

_I'm unprotected_

_See how I've opened up (oh)_

_You've made me trust_

Then you came into my life, and it was changed forever. When I first saw you with your bleached bangs and baggy clothes, I had no inclination what you would one day mean to me, both in the world of Go and out. You held the stones like a novice, and your joseki was so outdated…or so it seemed at the time. Then you overwhelmed me so completely, so innocently, as if you had no idea what you had just done. You were the first close to my age who ever did anything like that, and I'll never forget that. Do you know, Hikaru, that you were the first of our age group whose name I remembered, and you were the only one I've ever chased after with that sort of passion? The thoughts of you consumed me night and day.

Because of you my confidence and illusions were torn away, and I was left stripped and alone. Now, though, I wouldn't have it any other way because now, through you, I've learned how to truly live life while still loving and obsessing over Go.

_Cause I've never felt like this before_

_I'm naked around you_

_Does it show?_

_You see right through me _

_And I can't hide_

_I'm naked around you_

_And it feels so right_

Do you realize that you always see me, the true me? You are, also, the only one that sees that true me. For some reason, whenever I'm around you I cannot hide behind my cool mask for very long, if I can at all! It is a completely new experience for me, and perhaps that is part of what draws me to you. I'm completely exposed to you, vulnerable in ways I've never even imagined before, yet it always feels right, as if it was meant to be.

Can you tell me that I'm like this around you? Can you see that you're the only one who I'm like this around? Can you tell that you see a side of me that many don't even believe could exist? Perhaps it is because of that, though, that I obsessed over you and even came to love you.

_I'm trying to remember _

_Why I was afraid_

_To be myself _

_And let the covers fall away_

_Guess I never had someone like you_

_To help me fit in my skin_

At times I look back and wonder why no one ever fueled my flame like you do. Was it because all those on my lever were more that twice my age? But then I wonder why that stopped it, and then I think that maybe it was because even those adults who were better that me looked up to me and my talent in some way. You, though, you were different. You saw me as just another kid, and that got to me, You weren't one of my peers out to beat me and prove yourself, and since you were my age, I just could not see you as one of the adults who helped teach me the game in the first place.

_Cause I've never felt like this before_

_I'm naked around you_

_Does it show?_

_You see right through me _

_And I can't hide_

_I'm naked around you_

_And it feels so right_

I'm looking in the mirror again, and, when I look closely, I can see the subtle changes you have caused in me since I first met you. Since then I've never been able to change back into my old self who was always in complete control because, whenever you are around me, what little of my previous control I had managed to regain simply shatters. You infuriate and rejuvenate me. You complete and yet conflict with me. If I am ice, you are fire. If I am night, you are day. If I am the calm, you are the storm. We are so different, yet I feel as if I cannot truly live without seeing you. It may seem odd, even impossible and unreasonable, but how can you reason your way through or out of something that just feels so right? There's only one answer, you can't because it would be like taking out part of your own soul.

_I'm naked around you_

_Does it show_

_I'm naked around you_

And sometimes I wonder if you could ever truly understand how much you have changed me. Could you understand how you ripped the blindfold off of my eyes, showed me that the world was bigger that I first thought? Could you understand how you devastated me and then lifted me higher that I've ever been? Could you understand what drove me to chase you, no matter what it cost me at the time?

Then I realize that you could. After I caught up to you at the school tournament and we had started our match, I yelled at you in my disappointment. You changed after that. You went from playing like a childish amateur to your former playing brilliance. That wasn't the only way you changed either. Your previous enjoyment of our game, that innocent and childish enjoyment, disappeared, and you acted as if you weren't truly playing, as if you were simply a bystander in another person's game. I felt a pang at that, and, at the time, I didn't understand why because I had the game I wanted. Now, though, I realize that I had wanted to play _you_, the you that had enjoyed our game so much instead of the you that acted as if he wasn't playing. I wanted you play you, Hikaru, yet I was still somewhat disappointed in your game.

After that, though, you chased after me without rest. I know how much you sacrificed, not really caring at the moment. I drew you into my world this time, as you did with me. This time, it was I who changed you, brought _you_ into my world. It seems I did to you exactly as you did to me, and I cannot regret it because it has brought you to me by your own free will.

_I'm so naked around you_

_And I can't hide_

_You're gonna see right through baby_

I look at the clock again, and I start as I realize what time it is. I'm going to have to leave soon if I want to get to the Go Salon on that time, at this point there's no way I'll get there before our scheduled time Hikaru. Perhaps today I'll have a chance to let you know how I feel, it will all depend.

As I rush out the door, by my standards at the least, I can't help but think that you're rubbing off on me. I'm no longer who I used to be, and only you can really see this new me, the one who is _very_ slight more like you. That, and not I'm having to hurry to make sure _I'm_ on time to meet _you_. Despite it, though, I would never change anything both before and since I met you because I do love you.

AN: So…what do you think? Good, bad, great, horrible, etc? Please review and let me know! All comments and _constructive_ criticisms are welcome!


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